Another Day …

Today marks the day that someone special in my life turns 30. Only he does not realise just how special he is to me.

Not a day goes by when I do not think of him and what he might be doing. The truth is I like him alot and I don’t think he realises how much. I would give anything for him, for he is my best friend and more than. 

All I ask is that he has a good birthday and who knows maybe what I had planned for him originally can still come true.

Atheism and Me

After religiously going to church every week and being in the church choir- I got thinking. Was it really worth it? Was god real, if so why did bad events happen in real life?

What also contributed to my decision to become an atheist was the fact that in RE at school, we were discussing and looking into religions. A few of my friends who also questioned the existence of god, and myself put together a presentation to put forward to the Head Teacher at the time.

We had to sell the idea that although in school it is great to respect other religions but at the same time Atheism existed and should be spoke about in RE lessons. Prior to this presentation, atheism was frowned upon.

So aside homework, we met up twice a week and decided on how we were going to do things especially more so as it was such a big area to cover. A little over three weeks and we were ready. We presented the Head Teacher with a presentation that lasted over two hours. We won our case and now it is taught alongside the curriculum.

But this is not about what we did back then but, however it is to do with atheism means to me.

Atheism is characterized by an absence of belief in the existence of gods. This absence of belief generally comes about either through deliberate choice, or from an inherent inability to believe religious teachings which seem literally incredible. It is not a lack of belief born out of simple ignorance of religious teachings.

Some atheists go beyond a mere absence of belief in gods: they actively believe that particular gods, or all gods, do not exist. Just lacking belief in Gods is often referred to as the “weak atheist” position; whereas believing that gods do not (or cannot) exist is known as “strong atheism.”It is important, however, to note the difference between the strong and weak atheist positions. “Weak atheism” is simple scepticism; disbelief in the existence of God. “Strong atheism” is an explicitly held belief that God does not exist. Please do not fall into the trap of assuming that all atheists are “strong atheists.” There is a qualitative difference in the “strong” and “weak” positions; it’s not just a matter of degree.Atheism by itself does not imply anything much about how a person will behave. Most atheists follow many of the same “moral rules” as theists, but for different reasons. Atheists view morality as something created by humans, according to the way humans feel the world ‘ought’ to work, rather than seeing it as a set of rules decreed by a supernatural being.People say that being an atheist, is hard especially when the times get rough, but with the support of a supportive family and having the main comforts about you, helps and brings you back to the safe zone.

An Open Letter

A close friend of mine who is serving with the army recently passed away. Upon meeting up with the family after his wake, his mum read out the following, it touched us all and we all had tears in my eyes. With her permission this is her letter, please read it.

 

My dearest Shawn,

Writing this has never been so hard. Never in my life have I felt openly that I wanted to express my hurt to an event.

When you were born, you were so small and the moment you were placed in my arms… what a truly magical moment that was. You had a glimpse in your eyes and your dad and I both had tears of joy. Growing up you was a lovely little boy. You helped anyone out if needed and also had lots of friends. You were never afraid of anything and I think this influenced you to join the army.

The day you told your dad and me about joining the army, my heart sank. It felt as if you were being dragged away from home without the kicking and screaming. You did several tours with the army, and wrote home with fascinating tales, and photographs. But no more.

When we received the phone call informing us of your death, our world was torn apart. You meant everything to us and no matter how much we asked you to leave the army you could not do it. It was your life and you had a lot of friends there. One of which was like your brother, you were based together, trained together and went on holidays together.  You left this world together when you were involved in the roadside bomb.

Not only did we loose a son, the army lost a best friend and also the family lost a stepping stone.

It was not meant to be this way. No family should loose a child before they go, but it was never meant to be in this case. We miss you son, take care wherever you may be.

With much love now and always,

Your loving Mum xx

Loughborough looses out on 2012

Loughborough University, situated in the midlands has been subject to a serious competition- the fight to host Team GB’s training camp.

Instead it went to Aldershot Military Base. Why or how Loughborough lost to Aldershot goes right past me. Loughborough has it all a new training camp and also top of the range accommodation for the competitors.

There will be participants moving there which will mean that more housing will be built, a new hockey track and also a new martial arts centre. Sport is what Loughborough is known for, Army life is what Aldershot is known for.

Charity Dinner Dance

I was lucky enough to be invited to a charity dinner dance. The charity itself was CLIC but they also gave to other local charities.For those of you that are not familiar with CLIC, here is some information on what they do and also on their charity.CLIC SargentEvery day 10 families are told their child has cancer. As the UK’s leading children’s cancer charity, CLIC Sargent is the only organisation to offer them all round care and support. That’s because we’re there every step of the way:During treatment – providing specialist nurses, doctors, play specialists, Homes from HomeIn hospital & at home – offering specialist social care and family support in the community – specialist youth services, holidays, grants, helplineAfter treatment – helping survivors, supporting those bereaved, researchThey really do a lot for these children who suffer and to be able to attend was so much fun. My date for the event, was every bit charming as well as handsome but he was a true gent to the word. I want to say a huge thank you for coming with me; it really meant a lot more for the charity.Recognition for these events often go amiss but the organizers really did a marvelous job, from the decor to the entertainment. My advice is if you get the opportunity to attend one of these events then do it. Its not only for a good cause but its a great social event.

Birth Mix-Up

Taken from the BBC News Website:

Parted-at-birth twins ‘married’

It is thought the pair did not know their relationship when they married A pair of twins who were adopted by separate families as babies got married without knowing they were brother and sister, a peer told the House of Lords.A court annulled the British couple’s union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord Alton said. The peer – who was told of the case by a High Court judge involved – said the twins felt an “inevitable attraction”. He said the case showed how important it was for children to be able to find out about their biological parents. Details of the identities of the twins involved have been kept secret, but Lord Alton said the pair did not realise they were related until after their marriage. ‘Truth will out’ The former Liberal Democrat MP raised the couple’s case during a House of Lords debate on the Human Fertility and Embryology Bill in December. “They were never told that they were twins,” he told the Lords. “They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation.” He told the BBC News website that their story raises the wider issue of the importance of strengthening the rights of children to know the identities of their biological parents. “If you start trying to conceal someone’s identity, sooner or later the truth will out,” he said. “And if you don’t know you are biologically related to someone, you may become attracted to them and tragedies like this may occur.” Pam Hodgkins, chief executive officer of the charity Adults Affected by Adoption (NORCAP) said there had been previous cases of separated siblings being attracted to each other. “We have a resistance, a very strong incest taboo where we are aware that someone is a biological relative,” she said. “But when we are unaware of that relationship, we are naturally drawn to people who are quite similar to ourselves. ‘Incredibly rare’ “And of course there is unlikely to be anyone more similar to any individual than their sibling.” Mo O’Reilly, director of child placement for the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said the situation was traumatic for the people involved, but incredibly rare. “Thirty or 40 years ago it would have been more likely that twins be separated and, brought up without knowledge of each other,” she said. Today, however, adopted children grow up with a greater knowledge of their birth families – and organisations try to place brothers and sisters together. If that were not possible, the siblings would still have some form of contact with each other. “This sad case illustrates why, over the last 20-30 years, the shift to openness in adoption was so important,” Ms O’Reilly added.

The importance of manners

Manners are the un-enforced standards of conduct which show a person to be cultured, polite and refined. They set a standard for human behaviour. What is considered to be “mannerly” is highly susceptible to change with time, geographic location, social stratum, occasion and other matters. Manners matter is evinced by the fact that large books have been written on the subject and that schools have existed for the sole purpose of teaching manners.Good manners are the first mark of good breeding and reflects directly on a person’s upbringing; therefore learning good manners begins at home and should be taught by parents.Good manners do not come naturally, they have to be learnt. If children were not told and shown how to behave politely they will grow up rough and rude like savages.Manners are something used every day to make a good impression on others and to feel good about one self. Good manners are more than “opening doors” and “writing thank you notes”. While opening doors for others and writing notes is nice, true courtesy goes deeper. Being polite and courteous means considering how others are feeling.If we practice good manners, we are showing people around us that we are considerate of their feelings and respectful. We are also setting standards for other’s behaviour and encouraging them to treat us with similar respect. “Treat others the way you want them to treat you”.Good manners are not the same in all countries as different nations have different customs. In England it is a mark of respect to take your hat off in another persons house or when you meet people you know in a street, but in India it is polite to keep the hat on and rude to take it off.However good manners may be different in different places, the principle of good manners is always the same everywhere – it is consideration for the feelings of others.Good manners are very important as they teach us the way to behave in society. They enable us to make favourable impressions on others, in school, at job interviews, in business and in just about every situation in life.Children who understand and practice good manners feel more self confident and become more proactive in their dealings with adults. This feeling of self confidence is very important to our future success.

What is respect?

Respect is…listening with out interrupting

Respect is…taking your partner’s feelings into consideration

Respect is…keeping an open mind

Respect is…agreeing to disagree

Respect is…trying to understand your partner’s viewpoint

Respect is…loving yourself

Respect is…trust and honesty

Respect is…giving each other space

Respect is…nonviolence

Respect is…direct communication

Respect is…building a person up instead of tearing them down

Respect is…friendship

Respect is…not pressuring the other person

Family

There are several ways in which the family life cycle can be analyzed in comparison to the definition of the family. They can be static, focusing on structures for instance, role relations or they can capture dynamic processes; how role relationships between husband and wife or parent and child change over time and how they are related to socio-cultural changes. Family processes change from the beginning of the marital unit until it concludes with old age of the spouses. There is a continuous process of growth that a family experience as it travels through the family life cycle. During the first stage of the family life cycle there are many challenges the couple face as well as a great sense of responsibility to one another. For instance, there is an adjustment to living together: sex, marital chastity, lifestyle, work, religion, etc. However there are also many rewards that the couple receives such as, romance, intimacy and a sense of belonging to one another. The next stages of the life cycle, newborn babies are raised to adulthood, only to join with new adults to re-establish their own families. Families prepare their children for life, teaching skills, values and attitudes that equip them to learn, work, form friendships and contribute to society. The family remains a vital means of preserving and transmitting cultural values, it educates, motivates, and supports its individual members, thereby acting as a vital resource for development.

Chasing our dreams and not our shadows

Today I happened to spend the best part of the day with someone who means the world to me.

With him not only do our usual, i.e. going to the gym etc but he made realise something very important through the viewing of a film.

In the UK there is a film out called The Kite Runner. The synopsis given in the film guide reads as follows:

“In San Francisco, novelist Amir reflects back on his childhood in Kabul, Afghanistan, and the terrible events that befell him and his servant/best friend Hassan before the Soviet Invasion in 1979”

Having just watched the film, I feel that this does not cut half the justice it deserves. It was so beautifully wrote and brought a tear to not just mine but many people’s eyes.

The idea of chasing shadows is followed throughout the film and the values of friendship are shown. Without giving too much away about the film Hassan takes so much for his friend Amir. Some of which some of us can relate to, and some of which really brings to home to what life is always about.

A moral comes out from the story that you must appreciate those around you and those loved ones. I realised that to me my most important people in my life are my keys. Its people like my family, John, Tor, Louise and my work colleagues that make me who I am. They have stood by me through thick and thin, and I know I do not show them enough.

It is about values and morals, how we perceive them and also what we make of our dreams. A letter from one best friend to another explains about his dreams and what he would like his son to grow up to see and know.

Well this is my dreams…

1.       To turn back time and get back the one true love

2.       To be happy

3.       To be healthy and see the flowers bloom, to see the beautiful world as it is.

4.       To spend time with those that matter

5.       To have what I had, keep hold of it and never let go

These are the most important things to me and to achieve them would make everything complete and my time on this tiny little dot worthwhile.

Amir corrects a wrong in the story and makes it all complete and right in the end. Hence my title, chasing your dreams and not your shadows. It tells of how you should forward and not back.

However there is something I must do before I can look forward and with the support of my family and friends I am hoping to achieve that. All will become apparent in time.

The film is set about the Soviet Invasion. For those who are unsure about the Invasion, here is a small synopsis:

The Soviet war in Afghanistan also known as the Soviet-Afghan War was a nine-year conflict involving Soviet forces supporting the Marxist People’s Democratic Party of Afghanistan (PDPA) government against the largely Islamic fundamentalist Mujahideen insurgents. The latter group found support from a variety of sources including the United States, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and other Muslim nations in the context of the Cold War. This conflict was concurrent to the 1979 Iranian Revolution and the Iran-Iraq War.The initial Soviet deployment of the 40th Army in Afghanistan began on December 25, 1979. The final troop withdrawal began on May 15, 1988, and ended on February 15, 1989. Due to the high cost and ultimate futility of this conflict, the war in Afghanistan has often been referred to as the Soviet equivalent of the United States’ Vietnam War.The war had a profound impact in the Soviet Union, and has been cited as one of the key factors in the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991.